It’s the early hours so I suppose I’m speaking of yesterday really but when you feel as I do now, only hours stretch out and days mean nothing. Watched Les Mis at Tudor. Faith wasn’t in it but Thom was and after Faith watched the first show she was so impressed that I thought maybe I’d like to see it too. Unbeknown to me, dad felt the same and so it was me, Faith, Elaine and dad who went to see it. I wanted to change my mind hours before though. Realising the last performance was Faith’s with you still here and how proud you were of her and how much you loved her show. You watched it again and again on dvd afterwards. As bad as it might sound, I’m glad Faith wasn’t in this one just because you’re not here to see her. Normally I feel like you’re all around and you’d see it with us but today I feel like I’ve lost you. I feel like a spoilt angry child, I’m angry at everyone who’s so lax about masks and covid, I’m angry that you’d be angry that I want to let rip at people just like I would have when I was younger and I’m just so bloody angry that my heart, my chest is so full of pain at this moment and you won’t help me. Where are you? Why can’t I feel you? See, told you I was like a spoilt, angry child. Putting everything onto you. I just miss you so much and out of the blue it’s like I’m just realising you’re gone and I have to wait to come to terms with it again and then I’ll be ok. I love you so much xxx