I’m starting my ODP course on Monday. Faith suggested Grey’s Anatomy as something I might like to watch so I did tonight. I liked it, it made me feel excited for what I’ll experience in my placements and for my future generally. But it finished with the young intern visiting her mum who seems to have dementia. Very sad but I still felt a bit envious that she could still hold her mum’s hand and talk to her about what she was doing. I loved your tiny, dainty hands, always with your feminine nails even when they weren’t particularly shaped. I don’t have your hands. There are going to be too many times when I’m going to want to tell you all that I’m doing and hear what you think. I hope you can see what I’m doing and still believe in me. I hope you will help me feel that you’re around still because I think at times I’m going to want you more than anything. Like tonight. I can’t believe you’re not here, I’m ready for you to be well and allowed home. I feel like maybe you’ve rested enough now. Selfish really, I want you in heaven, pain free, at peace, feeling all of the love that you should have felt in life, never doubting how special you always were. I love you so much. Xxx